I’m starting to understand people with issues. I mostly hang around women so I’ll even say I understand complexities and dynamics that affect our adult lives. The thing to be stated here is you can’t have it all. There is no one out there who does not have a persistent poke, with varying intensities of course, from their past. For example I always had father issues, on a scale that most would undermine, but they are father issues nonetheless, and they were only resolved this year when I got married.
Issues. We all have them. However, the unspoken and unwritten rule of life is that we sort them out and not perform them with vigour in social spaces. We all should have that person—whether sister, neighbour counsellor, friend—whom we can speak uninhibitedly to and illuminate the dark corners of our hearts around. This person/people/friend helps us purge our issues and analyse them from a distanced perspective. That level of introspection is good. You should not keep your issues to yourself and allow them to be your personal cross.
Having said that, one should also be a keen observer and be discerning with oneself. What good does it do to display machismo when with others, only to crumble and perish under the weight of your personal cross? Or even worse, what good is it to keep your issues at bay and present to us a facade of prosperity only to consistently have meltdowns after a few drinks? I think I’m in a place in my life where I don’t have to call my friends to order. We should all know ourselves and be the ones to reprimand our own demons.
Granted, the journey of knowing self is a long one and continues unfolding, but the buffer that can afford our restless souls a haven can be attained through the power of friendship and spoken words. I’m a listener. And I want to surround myself with listeners precisely for that reason. If you have a problem, speak; but furthermore, speak when the time is right. That is a discerning character. Don’t hold the time we consider valuable and sacred, hostage with drunken ramblings that only function to put us off.
I’m certainly not being harsh. All I wish to emphasise is that our lives are saturated with information, images, digital devices, social networks, and other personal vices. With so much noise going around, some of us seek peace and harmony. There is good timing for everything. I have the broadest shoulders and largest ears, I have food and wine to indulge you, and I have music to settle your soul; but I also am human, and need inner peace, balance, and solace. If we’re gonna be friends please set your heart free by divulging your issues with reckless abandon so we may also find ourselves celebrating the small treasures of being alive.
It all boils down to purposeful action. And being discerning. You should prioritise your insecurities and unhappiness. Make them your personal urgent project. When your headspace is clear and you have your demons in check, you can start securing your landscape. Life presents us with difficulties along the way, make sure you function from a base camp you have assembled, strengthened, and illuminated. You are a base camp. You are ultimately responsible for where you set it up, who can come in and out, and how it can weather the storms.
MostlyUhuru 